Don’t be Fooled by “Kill Sonic” Naka Interview

By
Tristan Oliver
– March 18, 2009

picture-61Clever Hoax in Latest Game Informer

It is a bit early for April Fools jokes, and for much of Sonic fandom, any type of joke at this point could be taken as being kicked while down.

That’s why an article from the latest Game Informer magazine, while cleverly written, may not boil over well with fans dismayed by Sonic Unleashed and even moreso by the recent Sonic and the Black Knight.  Though the bottom of the page–which is available for viewing below–states “PARODY” in not so large type, it’s the faux editorial above it–clearly not written by Yuji Naka, though labeled as such to further the yuks along–that still has a few heads turning.

Here’s what “Mr. Naka” “wrote:”

I admit to being a little saddened when I left Sega to form my own studio, but not because I was abandoning the company and co-workers who had supported me for years.  I was dismayed that I did not fulfill my ultimate goal: to kill Sonic the Hedgehog.

I had made significant progress; abysmal titles like Sonic Shuffle and Shadow the Hedgehog went a long way to erode confidence and test the limits of gamers’ patience.  However, the job was far from done.  Before I left Sega, I secretly met with Sonic Team to deliver one final directive: The Sonic franchise must die, no matter what the cost.

They embraced their mission with alarming enthusiasm.  The team devised terrible and incongruous concepts, then cobbled them haphazardly into a loose approximation of games.  They expanded the cast of Sonic’s repulsive anthropomorphic friends, included hedgehog-on-human romance, and even threw him on a hoverboard–twice!  I was overjoyed.  “This is barely even playable,” I laughed as I played Sonic and the Secret Rings.  “Mission accomplished.”

I hadn’t counted on you, the gamers, ruining my plans.  No matter how hard Sonic Team tries to create a game not even a diehard fan could love, you stupid goons keep buying this garbage.  Seriously, they turned Sonic into a “werehog,” whatever the hell that is.  Think about that for a second; what part of “werehog” sounds even remotely not stupid?  That doesn’t matter to you, apparently.  As long as it has Sonic (or one of his insipid friends,)  you’ll eat it right up and ask for seconds.

This is my plea: Stop.  I beg you, let Sonic die with some dignity.  Don’t make the team suffer the humiliation of creating yet another game where Sonic transforms into some genie or dragon…or something with a magic butt.  Because that’s where things are going, and if that doesn’t stop you, heaven help us all.

Take comfort in knowing that those are absolutely not the words of Mr. Naka; it’s more likely to be the work of someone on Game Informer editorial staff.  Those dismayed by the state of Sonic may find it adding insult to injury; those in support of the franchise’s current direction may find themselves infuriated.

Whether perturbed or amused, perhaps you’d like to let them know your thoughts on it directly.  If not, we welcome your comments on it below.  Thanks to jscsonic and blueblur for pointing the information out to us via our News Tips system.  If you have a story you’d like to share with us, click “News Tips” at the top of every page.

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